Borat Gets a Ride
by tekande
Summary: [Borat] Borat is told to go watch a football game, but is far more interested in the cheerleaders. Unfortunately he makes two mistakes. 1] He offends them. 2] He goes with their leader to her room.


Borat smiled at the woman as she tied his left leg to the bed. He had only just met her, and already she had invited him into what he assumed was her apartment and was getting ready for some kinky play. Though it did confuse him slightly that she felt the need to tie him down. In Kazakhstan that was only something a man did to his woman when he was afraid she might try to escape. Never had he heard of it being done the other way around.  
"You do not need to bind me to bed" he smiled "I will not run away"  
She laughed.  
"I hope not" she said, and pushed a button on something that kind of resembled a coffee pot, though Borat wasn't sure. It had been too long since he had last seen one. The devise soon started making growling and gurgling noises, and even shook a little, which made him a little nervous.  
He watched the woman as she rummaged around in a small cupboard, but was too busy studding her round buttocks to notice what she pulled out. She sure looked nice. Long legs, big breasts. 

He had met her by the football field he and Azamat had visited. They had been told that if they wanted to learn something about American culture they should watch a football game. Borat had been disappointed. It turned out the Americans had no idea how to play football, as they kept picking the ball up with their hands, and the game wasn't even half as violent as back in Kazakhstan. But he had been very impressed by how well they had trained their women. Somehow they had taught them to stand in pyramids, and afterwards he had asked the team's coach how they had done it. "Well, you'll have to ask the girls about that" the older man had said "That's not really my field"  
And so Borat had asked "the girls" who had taught them tricks, and he was introduced to a rather tall woman with black hair, who looked a little older than the rest of them. She was apparently their alpha female, and she had agreed to show him some of her girls' moves. They had jumped up in the air, rolled on the grass and stood on each other's shoulders, all for Borat.  
"Very nice" he had said "How much?"  
The woman had looked a little confused at him "How much what?"  
"How much I pay for your prostitutes? If they are not expensive, I would very much like to have all of them at once"  
There had been an uproar from the girls, and they had all spoken so fast that Borat had trouble understanding them.  
"Calm down ladies" he had said "There is enough Borat for everyone!"  
After some more screaming from the females, the tall woman had calmed them down, by saying something Borat couldn't quite hear, and afterwards she had led him to this room, inside a building next to the football field. 

The strange, gurgling devise made a clicking noise, and finally went silent. The woman placed a bowl on the table, and poured some hot water from the devise into it. She then walked over to the bed, and sat beside her captive.  
"So..." she asked "Where did you say you came from?"  
"The glorious nation Kazakhstan!" Borat said proudly "I have come here to make-"  
"Yes, that is very nice" the woman interrupted, sounding a little impatient "How do you feel about homosexuals in your county?"  
"We shoot or hang them on the square" Borat said with much disgust in his voice "They are almost as evil as the Jews!"  
"Really?"  
"Very much!"  
"Well, I guess you don't like the idea of having something stuck up our ass then?"  
"No! Only women, homosexuals and Jews enjoys things up their anus'!"  
"I see..." the woman said thoughtfully, then out of nowhere she pulled dildo and held I up to his face. "You mean to tell me you wouldn't enjoy a ride on this baby?"  
Borat looked with confusion at the rubber penis. It was rather thick, almost as big as his son's, and he didn't quite understand what she intended to do with it.  
"A ride?" he asked "Like a horse?"  
"You could say that" she smiled. Borat squinted his eyes.  
"But it does not have any legs..."  
The woman giggled. Borat smiled with her, even though he didn't understand what was so funny.  
"I didn't mean riding it like that" she said "I meant... You know what? I think I'll just show you" Again she pulled something out of the thin air, this time a tube with "LUBE" written on it, and squeezed a good amount of clear substance on the dildo. Borat grew more and more confused. Then she placed the rubber penis between his legs, pressed it against his hole, and all Borat's confusion was replaced by panic.  
"What are you doing?!" he asked horrified "I am not a Jew!"  
"You don't have to be a Jew to enjoy this baby" she just smiled, and despite Borat's best efforts to keep it out, the dildo slipped right in. He tried to pull away from it, but he didn't get far with his hands and legs tired to the bed. The woman smiled at his pathetic attempts to escape. Without any sort of mercy she kept pushing, slowly but steady, until it was all the way in. By now Borat was hyperventilating and gasping for air.  
"Yeah, you like that, don't you?" she said, and twisted it around, causing her captive to moan.  
"You are trying to make me homosexual, but you will not succeed, you evil gipsy woman!" Borat almost shouted. How could he have been so blind? He should have known from the moment she turned on that device on the table, that she was a witch. He could already feel her evil magic working, sending small sparks of pleasure through the lower part of his body. He bit his lip.  
"Aw, come on" she said "I can tell that you like it. Just look at you!"  
"No!" Borat growled, without noticing that his body had betrayed him, making his arousal painfully obvious. Suddenly the rubber penis started vibrating and twisting itself, and for a few horrifying seconds he thought it was going to cut him op from the inside, but instead the pleasure tenfolded, making him gasp.  
"What evil anus magic is this?!" he asked, barely able to control his voice "I demand that you make it stop now!"  
"You demand?" she said, sounding a little amused "Honey, you're not really in position to be demanding anything"  
"I am a man, and you are a woman! You do as I tell you!"  
A hard slap across the face made him go quiet.  
"You don't like it when it feels good?" she asked, suddenly looking very serious "Fine. Then we'll have to find a way to distract you"  
She got off of the bed and walked over to the table, leaving the horrible penis in Borat. She took a small jar out of the bowl of water, dipped a flat stick into it, and came back to sit next to the Kazakhstanian.  
"What is that?"  
"This..." she said "...is to take your mind off of the pleasure" She smeared some warm, thick substance on his chest. It actually felt rather nice, so Borat couldn't see how it was going to help. She then placed a piece of paper on top of it, massaging it gently.  
"Are you ready?" she asked. Borat didn't understand.  
RIP!  
Borat howled when the paper was ripped off his chest. He tore at the ropes around his wrists, and tried to kick his legs around. The woman quickly held the dildo in place to prevent it from slipping out, which only made Borat even more disorientated. The extreme pain and pleasure at the same time made him confused, and for a few seconds he forgot where he was.  
"Was that better?" the woman asked.  
"May you give birth to grown pigs, gipsy!" Borat shouted back at her. She didn't look too offended though. Instead she just smeared more hot wax on his chest, and repeated her actions. Soon Borat had no more fight left in him. The magic penis was making his own hard, but the woman kept him from feeling any real arousal by smearing and ripping. Finally, when he had no more hair on his chest and stomach, she stopped. Borat was shaking and whimpering in the most pathetic way possible, but she still wouldn't leave him alone. She grabbed the rubber penis and started moving it in and out. Borat didn't try to stop her.  
"Do you know why I am doing this to you?" she asked. Borat actually hadn't even thought about that. He just assumed that she did it because she was a gipsy witch, and wanted to be evil. He shook his head. "Because nobody calls my girls whores, insults my Jewish grandparents, and calls my gay friends evil, you got that?" Borat wasn't sure what a gay was, and he had already problems concentrating, because the magic penis was bringing him closer and closer to the edge. The woman twisted it, apparently focusing all her magic on one spot inside him where all the pleasure seemed to come from. He gasped and nodded.  
"I give up, gipsy" Borat moaned "Your evil anus magic is working" After having said it, it was like a stone fell from his chest. He suddenly felt like he could embrace the pleasure, and immediately he lost all boundaries. He started moving his lower body, squeezing tightly around the penis, trying to get as much pleasure from it as possible. But he also felt like crying. He could never return to Kazakhstan now that he had enjoyed having something up his anus. So it was in a mix of sadness and horniness that he came on his own red, itching and hairless stomach.  
The magic penis finally stopped moving, but she didn't pull it out.  
"Why are you looking so sad, honey? Didn't you like it?" she asked, her voice full of mockery.  
"Because I am now a dirty, hairless homosexual" Borat said, almost in tears. "Now the other men will call me a woman and rape me"  
"Aw, cheer up" she said, clapping him on his sore chest "The hair will grow out, and the ▒magic' will only work till tomorrow. When you wake up in the morning you'll be as straight as you was before"  
Borat lightened up a bit.  
"Really?"  
"Really"  
With that she just loosened the robes, threw his cloth into his arms and pushed him out. Outside, not far from the door, Borat found Azamat in the middle of smoking a cigarette. The overweight man looked puzzled at his friend's hairless chest, which Borat tried to hide with the bundle of cloth in his hands.  
"Oh, hi!" the woman said as she walked out, and waved at Azamat, who didn't return her gesture "I'm a gipsy or something, and I just cursed your friend here" she said in an all to happy voice "He is now a homosexual until he wakes up tomorrow. Have fun" She then walked off, leaving the two men to do what they wanted.  
Azamat got a strange look on his face "She really cursed you?" he asked in their native tongue. Borat nodded, knowing where this was going. 


End file.
